half.... glass

I'm realizing that life has a way of throwing nasty curve balls at us all. But if an experienced hitter is at the plate and sees the signs of the coming pitch soon enough they can adjust their swing and turn a nasty curve into a beautiful hit.

I think I see a nasty curve coming my way. "I think" being the key word. I'm not sure what the pitch may be, I just know something's coming. Something that I'll either adapt to in time to hit or swing at miserably for a strike.

Yesterday we got a phone call...

one of those calls.

A call that deals with the health of loved ones.

Some test are in, some options are starting to be on the table, something is about to happen.

BUT WHAT!

BUT WHEN....

and how the heck are we to adapt to play this game called life?

I general call myself optimist. I generally naively see the glass half full, I generally believe it will all be ok and will all work out. I'm generally confident enough to believe we can adapt in time to read the pitch and to stay in the game... even if our hit isn't a homerun.

But this time I'm nervous, I'm scared, I'm starting to guess what's next and there more questions then confidence.

At this time when my optimism in myself is clouded with uncertainty and I'm paralyzed with doubt, my optimism has to turn from myself, cause I fear I can't do it, I can't read the pitch in time, I can't analyse this game called life cause I'll go crazy trying.

At this time my optimism in myself goes from me to God. I have to look to Jesus and say "I don't have a freakin clue what to do, how to respond, how to pray, how to play, but you do. You know. You've got a clue. So do it, I can't!"

So this morning as the Sun warms the day and my coffee cups gets emptier, my metaphorical "glass" is still half full, it's just not as full of myself, it's being thrown at Jesus and pleadingly begged to be carried (or should I say filled) by him.

Have you had these times? If so, what did you do?