I find myself sitting at square one coffee today. Square one is a place that many thoughts have been captured at for me. It’s a place for reflection, for a good cup of coffee that seems to invite me into myself and the thoughts I often allow life to rush me past.
This year has been a year of rushing. Finishing grad school, starting a new student ministry at our church’s city campus, going to Vietnam and Cambodia for class, Haiti with students, summer camps, conferences, papers to write, books to read, and all the daily grind to maintain. It’s been a busy year, but an amazing year, a year that has brought me to life in a new way.
I recently found myself walking out of the Willow Creek Leadership Summit with big tears forming behind my eyes, tears that would later drip off my cheek and cause my nose to gush that embarrassing goo that comes with a good deep cry.
These tears where coming from a reminder of who loves me most, who desires the most for my life, who believes in me the most. I was reminded in the closing days of last week that God, holy God, deeply loves me, cares for me, believes in me.
I was also reminded of just how much he does this for you, for them, for the students who make up our student ministry, the parents who are trying to figure out how to guide and instruct them, for the punks who mask their own pain by inflicting it upon them.
Yes, last week was filled with tears at the thought of how much God loves me, of how much God loves you.
These tears have water the budding renewal of old passions, passions to teach, to lead, to put the love of God on display in such a way that others discover the goodness, restoration, and hope of Jesus.
Yes, tears are not always bad, in fact they may be what is needed for our hearts to come alive.
